Same WhatsApp Group?

Hello….hello…anyone out there who is in the same WhatsApp group as me?

When you buy a car, you are given a user manual so that just in case you don’t know what that button on the steering wheel does you can find out on page 8 of the manual. When you buy a phone you get a user manual just in case you don’t know how to activate the Wi-Fi, you can find the answer on page 10. When you buy a TV, you get a manual, so that just in case you want to know how to change the channel, you turn to page 15 of the manual to find the answer. When you buy a fridge, you get a manual that will answer all your questions about how to command your fridge to make crushed ice. I mean, for crying out loud even when you buy the simplest kettle, you get a manual that tells you on page 1, how to switch it on!

User manuals really make life so easy, even though most of us never read them; it’s comforting to know that should you get stuck with any of your gadgets you can always refer to the manual and have your issue sorted out by a set of easy instructions! Navigating life though, I find that I am in desperate need of a user manual for one specific area …. D-A-T-I-N-G!

Don’t you just wish that relationships came with a user manual or an app? A specific, bespoke user manual though, not just a general one that can apply to all relationships across the board. This manual would guide you through every step of the way and give you critical pointers that guarantee success and address issues such as:

  • ·         When can we move past first name basis and start referring to each with terms of endearment?
  • ·         Are there any terms of endearment that are too cliché and should be avoided, like “bae”?
  • ·      Is it OK to assume, from day one that this new person is now your official +1 to all social events and vice versa?
  • ·       Is it ever too early to suggest coordinated outfits for the above social engagements? I mean we’ve all seen those coordinated his and hers modern African inspired outfits on Instagram with hashtags like #matchingoutfits  #matchingbaetoday #matchingbaeswag
  • ·      Speaking of hashtags, is there like a probationary period before one can suggest going on a #baecation?
  • ·         And now that I think about it, are there terms of reference or limitations of where the first #baecation ought to be? Like, would it be more advisable to go to #BelaBela or #Thailand on the first getaway or would the latter be considered overzealous for now?
  • ·         If we have been dating for all of 5 minutes, and the next thing I get a flat tyre in the middle of the night on the N1, can I call him or should I rather call First for Women to assist?
  • ·         Speaking of cars, should I continue to take my car to the car wash up the road, or can one handover the task to him?
  • ·         And finally, for now, is it ever OK to keep a calendar of all the significant dates and milestones (such as the first time he wore a blue shirt, the first time we ate ice-cream, the first time we almost had an argument) or would it be better to keep that in the secret compartment in my head and only share it with my closest (and craziest) friends on our WhatsApp group where we can share celebratory GIFS and have cake thereafter? #justasking

The questions above may seem trivial, but trust me, they are anything but!! 

These are critical things, things that one has to navigate successfully if they are to succeed in this relationship terrain, particularly, if like me, you did not pay sufficient attention to this human aspect of socialisation when you were much younger and still had the benefit of time, youth and naivety on your side!! 

The challenge now, is at this stage in my life, I am expected to know these things, I should have earned my stripes and perhaps even be a veteran now!

I ask again, is anyone in the same boat as me?



Comments

  1. Unknown8 November 2017 at 00:13

    I am in the same whatsapp group as you are.

    The dating world has become one of those items, that are from China that either come with no manual or come with one written in mandarin (which I can not read or speak). Thus what is left, is you having to feel things out and hope some-where some-how, as u look at the position of the sun, you are heading in the right direction.

    The qns you are ask are valid manual entries but the beauty of relationships (new ones) is feeling our way around and creating manuals for ourselves and loved ones in this new land with no constitution.

    A word of caution... I would avoid the use of previous created manual... if they were so great, where are those relationships now?!

    #brilliantpost
    #youhadmedropeverythingandread
    Stunning mix of humour and sass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nyiko J Khoza16 November 2017 at 21:51

      Hi Taty

      From the sounds of it, it seems that there are quite a number of people who find themselves in this WhatsApp group. I love the part about creating new manuals for ourselves as we navigate this exciting terrain that has no Constitution!!!

      Was great reading your insights!!

      PS: Once you have completed your manual, please may you share it, so that I can make sure I have not left out any key essentials, hahahaha.

      Delete

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